Broken Words
by Emilie
Summary: Oz is called home.


Title: Broken Words   
Author: Emilie   
Disclaimer: Don't own them. I do not own Broken Words by Finger11 either. The lyrics are attached.   
Distribution: http://www.emiliekitten.com or if I've told you otherwise.   
Rating: Pg-13   
Feedback: It helps me write. . .   
  
This is for everyone who's lost someone because of silence.   
~*~   
It had been ten years since he'd been back to this place. The electricity seemed to crackle in the air as she stared at him for a long moment over the casket. They were all there, all to pay tribute to their friend, their librarian, their watcher. Rupert Giles had died protecting his slayer in the final moments of battle, a noble death. The small group seemed to huddle together as the rain splattered on them, it seemed fitting that it should rain on the day they lay their beloved Father figure into the cold ground. Her green eyes met his and held him, transfixed, and then the contact was broken. She moved her eyes to stare at her feet, to try and hide the tears that were falling.   
  
The priest finished his words, Willow threw her rose into the ground to lay against the dark chestnut casket. Xander wrapped his arms around her shoulders, moving her toward the line of cars keeping her safely under the black umbrella. The gold that wrapped around her left ring finger glinted in the gray light that seemed to fog around them. She brushed past Oz, barely glancing at him. He caught a faint glimmer of her scent as she passed, and then it was gone. Washed away with the earthy smell of rain. Oz stood at the grave for a few more moments, watching as Joyce Summers, Anya, Riley, and other friends and family of Giles slowly left their loved one in peace.   
  
The silence enveloped Daniel Osborne, as he stood in the rain. Tears slipping down his cheeks, he tried to piece together what had gone wrong. Why he had lost the woman he cared for, why the silence between them had become such a barrier that it had eventually torn them apart, made them into nothing more then acquaintances. He turned to watch her move into her car, Xander hurrying around to the other side and turning it on. He stood there, watching as they drove away. 

As she walked out of his life, again.   
~~~   
"Oz." His heart thumped in his chest and he wanted to curse it. He couldn't let her have that effect on him, not anymore. She belonged to someone else, she deserved to be happy. Be loved, by someone that wasn't a animal.   
  
"Willow. . . Giles asked me to come." She nodded quickly and stepped back, letting him into her small apartment. He glanced around at the furnishings, a cat slunk up to him and rubber itself against his leg. He bit back a growl that jumped into his throat, felines were not his favorite animals, at least part of him.   
  
He could smell her there, Willow. Smell her scent, he could also smell someone else's. He faintly recognized it, Tara. "You won't have to stay too long Oz, just long enough for the spell. . . I hope this isn't going to cause problems in your schedule." Willow said, her voice edged with insecurity and fear. She was afraid of him, he could feel a corner of his heart crumble.   
  
"Its no problem." She smiled, a nervous smile. 

"Good, I'm glad. . . " Xander was sitting in her living room, Oz was a little shocked that he hadn't noticed his old friends scent. 

"Xander." 

"Hey man! How are ya?" He'd changed, grown up. His hair was shorter then it had been the last time Oz had been in Sunnydale and his clothes seemed smarter, his scent was. . . different.   
  
"I'm good. You look good."   
  
"So do you! Gotten buffer I see, you always were pretty buff for a lil' guy. . ." The door opened behind them and Oz's nose was assaulted by the new scent. *Her* scent.   
  
"Will. . . I'm home." Willow moved instantly to the doorway and Oz moved over to where Xander was sitting.   
  
Willow said something quietly as they came into the room and he saw Tara's eyes cloud over with something and then she smiled, slightly. "H-hi Oz." She said quietly, moving past them into the bedroom to put down her things.   
  
Willow came to sit on the recliner to the side of where Oz was standing next to Xander, she motioned for him to sit down and he did. Still trying to figure out the different in scent from Xander.   
  
"Did Giles tell you why we needed you, Oz?"   
  
"No. Just that you needed my blood." Willow nodded.   
  
"Would you like to know why?" He said nothing and she took that as a reason to move forward. "A few months ago as you may or may not know there was a earth quake here, that did some major damage to Sunnydale and some of LA." Oz raised a eyebrow, wondering where this was going. "A demon rose the night of that earth quake and attacked us. We all fought, luckily no one was killed. The only one that was affected was. . ."   
  
"Me." Xander said from next to Oz. His face more serious then Oz had ever seen. "I was bitten."   
  
"Yes, he almost died. He's still dying Oz. We need your blood to save Xander."   
  
Xander nodded, "yeah. I'm slowly turning into a demon." He said, rolling up the sleeve of his shirt to reveal green scales.   
  
Oz blinked.   
~*~End 1~*~   
Oz sat in shock as Xander explained what was happening to himself, it was. . . odd. ". . so in about a month I'll be just another of the Sunnydale slimys for Buff to slay." Xander concluded, he seemed to okay with the whole subject, almost at ease. 

Oz took a deep breathe and scrubbed at his face with his hand, "and you need my blood." 

Willow nodded, glancing up as Tara came in. "We need the blood of a wolf." Willow mumbled, Tara sat in the seat across from her. "Its the only option Giles could find, we have to make a cerium from your blood when your changed." 

Oz tensed slightly, "you can. . . tranq me and then take the blood." Willow shook her head and Tara broke into the conversation. 

"The blood h-has to be pure." She said, bowing her head slightly with the last word as if embarrassed to speak. 

"You can't." Was Oz's response. "I can't control the wolf. . . " 

"We know, Oz. That's what Giles is working on, giving you the control you need." Willow said, as if talking to a slow child. 

Oz's eyes darkened slightly with anger. "I've been a werewolf for almost seven years, I've searched the world over for a cure or. .. anything that would help me get ba. . . have power over the wolf. Don't you think I would have found a way to control the wolf?" He saw Willow shrink back slightly at the coldness in his voice, she'd never heard him talk that way to her. Much less say so many words. 

"Oz. . . " It was Xander's first time speaking in this particular part of the conversation. "If you don't do it. . . " 

Oz closed his eyes for a moment, his friend. He had to choose between his deepest lodged fear and his friends safety. He wished at that moment he was Devon and tell them all to go get themselves killed and see if he gave a damn. This had been the first contact with them five years and all they wanted was his blood, not his friendship. . . not his love. 

"Fine." He saw Willow's face flash surprise and then she smiled, not a genuine smile. A fake one, plastered there to make everyone think she was happy. He'd seen it only a few times before but enough to make him know it. He felt dread low in his gut, hoping this spell went fine. 

~*~   
"We, your servants, implore thee gods to save this poor man of being a demon. He has done no wrong towards you or your kind, and only asks to be free." Willow stood, holding a white handled knife. "We offer you the blood of a wolf and of a witch, mingled together to form a elixir to save this soul. Help us." 

*I wonder why she doesn't stutter while she's doing a spell.* Oz thought as he watched Giles walk around the cage where Oz was currently squatting. He was mumbling something in Latin below his breathe and had a smelly incense. He tried not to cough as he felt himself overcome by the change. His stomach twisted and he felt his bones crunch and shift below the skin, fur ran over his skin and he fell forward trying not to slam into the cage on his way down. A howl erupted from his throat but something was different. . . rather then his mind slowly fizzing out it stayed. He was still Oz, in wolf form. 

Sweat was pouring off of Giles forehead as he continued the spell, moving aside. Anya stepped forward, "Oz? Do you have control?" Oz let out a low growl, trying to answer. She took the long stick they had fashioned, sticking it into the cage she poked at him. He didn't react. "I think he's in control." She quickly unlatched the cage and Oz could smell the acrid fear waving off of everyone in the room, fear of him, tearing out their insides. 

He stepped into the circle where Xander was laying, in the nude. Staring at the ceiling in a deep trance. Willow stepped forward, holding her arm out above his body. Oz reared up onto his hind legs, trying desperately to keep his balance as he pawed at the air. Willow grabbed his clawed appendage. She brought the knife out, quickly slitting her forearm and then bringing it down to his furred arm. She made a quick slice, it was painless since the knife was so sharp. 

His blood welled up from the wound, and he could see it forming a small river on her arm. Before Oz could do anything she had pressed their arms together, mingling the blood. It dripped down onto Xander's stomach, a red splotch. Oz let out a growl and threw himself away from her. He forced the change to reverse as Xander started to convulse, Willow began chanting with Tara and the blood ran down his sides as the three of them were surrounded by a light blue light that exploded outward. 

The silence was deafening and then everyone began talking at once. Oz got to his feet clenching his fists. He was angry, she'd used him and now would pay for it. Willow was staring down at Xander who was shaking like a leaf, his eyes came open slowly and he threw his arm up before his eyes. The scales were disappearing slowly and his normal skin was taking place as they flaked away. She stood up slowly, Tara was lying on the floor next to Xander, trying to catch her breath. 

Willow moved to help her. She went forward, Oz grabbed her shoulders and held her at arms length, his eyes were pure fury and scared her. "What the hell did you think you were doing?" He asked, his voice so calm it was frightening. 

"I-. . I had to. The spell called for a mingling of blood." 

He gave her a little shake. "Do you realize what you've done?? To yourself? To me? To everyone you've ever known?" 

She gave a little whimper, "Oz your hurting me." He let her go immediately, she noticed his hands shaking. He had never seen him show so much emotion. . . never. Except when he'd left her. . the first time. 

The wolf was clawing, trying desperately to get back the control it had had before. Oz's emotional control was slipping and he knew he had to get out of there. He turned on shaking legs and bolted out of the room, he could hear Willow calling out after him but he couldn't be around her. He knew he was going to change, he wanted distance. He didn't notice the footsteps behind him, or the flash of dirty blonde hair as he fell to the ground in the woods just beyond the dorms where they had been performing the spell. He felt the change overtake him and his mind blink out. 

~*~ 

Tara stood just beyond the thicket Oz had collapsed in. She was mumbling spells, trying to make Oz calm. She couldn't have him so emotionally erratic, not now. She needed him calm and collected, the Oz they all knew. . . and loved. She almost frowned at the thought but held her concentration as the smallish werewolf emerged from the trees, its yellow animal eyes staring at her. Watching her like it would when hunting a deer. 

She was desperately trying not to run as the wolf stepped forward a bit and began to growl low in his throat. She had to finish the spell or she'd never have control over him. He gave a growl, realizing she was trying to do something to him. He began to run at her and she knew she'd never finish the spell. She stopped chanting and turned, running full tilt back toward the dorms. Willow and Giles were just emerging from the dorm, she could see Willow's red hair as they ran the wrong way, toward the street. 

She tried to scream but felt the wolf fall upon her back, ripping at the back of her neck and finally latching his throat around it. Snapping her spin. Her world flashed once before she died, blood spurted from the wound as the wolf let out a howl of victory. 

~*~ 

Oz felt his mind emerging slowly, his mouth tasted fowl. Somewhere in the distance he could hear Willow screaming and Giles' voice. He opened his eyes, he was staring at the dead open eyes of Tara. He sat up instantly, and took in his naked chest. Covered in crimson blood, he could taste it in his mouth and feel it all over himself. 

He felt confusion rising as he climbed to his feet and turned, Giles was holding Willow against his chest and trying to calm her. "Giles?" Oz asked, trying not to let the terrified quiver enter his voice. Willow looked up at him, her face full of pain. She wrenched herself free of Giles and ran at him, knocking him down with her slight weight she began to beat at his chest. 

"YOU KILLED HER! Oz!" She screamed, scratching at him. He let her, not fighting back his mind was blank. He'd killed, again. He couldn't remember why. . . 

Giles pulled Willow off of him, clasping her arms against her sides. She looked like a trapped butterfly and her eyes fell on Tara's corpse. Tears streaming down her cheeks and she let out a sob of pure pain. Xander emerged from the dorm at a run, coming to where Giles was holding Willow he pulled her to him and hugged her fiercely as Giles stepped forward to where Oz was getting to his feet again. 

"Oz. I. . . think that you should leave. Before. . . the police and ambulance get here. Xander has, err, just called them and it would be rather awkward. . . we will of course tell them that it was a animal attack but. . . if they find your DNA. . ." Oz blinked slowly, nodding. "You may of course stay at my apartment if you need somewhere to. . . " 

"No. I'll go." Giles nodded, handing Oz a pair of pants he'd been holding. Oz slipped them on quickly and moved off at a run toward where his van was parked. Willow's screams still echoing in his ears. 

~~~ Present time ~~~ 

Oz sat on the couch in Giles' old apartment. Everyone was around him from his past, no one seemed to want to talk to him. The only one who'd made an effort was Cordelia, she'd danced over from where she was standing with her husband and talked with him. A quick glimmer of someone that could still make him smile, even though he saw the pain in her eyes from loosing Giles. He'd been their teacher, their mentor. 

Willow and Xander were standing in the kitchen talking. Willow had inherited Giles apartment from him, and most of his belongings. His journals were being seized by the council except for one, one he'd left for Oz. He got up, taking the thin leather bound book in his hands as he left. He said quick goodbyes to Cordelia and then left, knowing no one would miss him. 

He climbed into his car and drove to the motel he was staying in, trying to keep his mind off of Willow and how much she despised him. She thought that he honestly had wanted to kill Tara because of what she'd done, taken her from him. 

He turned on the light to his room, sitting down onto the bed he opened the journal and was surprised to see the first page directed to him. 

"Oz, 

I'm guessing that since you have received this journal I have died. I hope it was as noble a death I could ask for. This is a journal of everything I could find of Tara's. I know that you did not mean to hurt the girl, the wolf takes control. I have tried to convince Willow of this but she is rather unmovable on the subject. I pray that you are safe and have moved on with your life, however that is possible. Consider this my last gift to you, I have always thought of you as one of my sons and hope to look out for you, even when I am not there in body. "   


Oz blinked at the writing and turned the page. A journal on Tara? 

The first page was a mass of clippings about a house fire in 1990. Three people had been killed, the only survivor was a young girl. She was put into a orphanage. 

The second was a murder, clipping from 1993. A girl had been attacked, her foster mother killed and her foster sister blinded. The girl had made it out unharmed by hiding in a closet. The cause of death for the foster mother was being held. 

The next looked like several diary entries. 

Diary, 

Today he's come back. I'm starting to plan. He can't take her away from me, never. She's mine now, mine. I've started working on the spell, I just hope that it works and she can forget about him. 

The next entry made Oz shiver. 

He's gone. I've done it finally. She chose me over him, I know I will eventually have her heart by her choice and not just my magic. She loves *me*. 

It skipped ahead, with a note from Giles saying this was right before and after Oz had left the second time. It then skipped ahead years to five years ago, when it had happened. 

He's back. I know what Willow is thinking. She still loves him. My magic has faded slightly from when I first preformed the spell. I think I will have to cut him out of the picture this time, make *him* mine. Under my control. I need her, for the future. 

Oz was confused at this snippet. But continued, this was the night before. . . he'd killed her. 

Tomorrow is the spell. I know what Willow is going to do. I'm going to perform the final spell on him after we've saved Xander. He'll be completely under my control and then she'll have to be mine. He won't want her. . . he'll leave forever. 

Finally there was Tara's obituary. A side note from Giles. 

Oz, 

She followed you out when you ran. I suppose to perform the spell. When you felt the magic's coming over you. . . you must have gone feral and attacked her. I've showed this information to Willow but she ignored me. I tried. I'm sorry that you had to endure this Oz, just know that it was not your fault. The wolf did not know how to react, and was hyper sensitive after the spell I had to perform on you to keep you under control. She knew this would be true and performed the spell to control your mind, she was going to make you a zombie and leave, possibly killing yourself. I cannot express enough my sorrow for this situation. I hope that you at least have a clean conscious with this information, if nothing else. 

The journal ended there, nothing more then blank pages. Oz set the book down on the bed, trying to process the information. After five years of guilt and pain. . . it hadn't even been his fault. Tara had been trying to. . . 

The years of silence and broken hearts was because of her jealousy of him. Willow had cared about him. Grabbing his car keys he took the book and headed out the door. For Willow and Xander's house. 

~*~ 

Xander opened the door and his face hardened. He stepped out onto the step next to Oz and closed the door. "She doesn't want to see you Oz. . . " 

Oz nodded. "I know. Xander has she seen the book?" He asked holding up the journal. Xander nodded. "She thinks that Giles made up the journal entrees trying to make you seem better in her eyes. She won't listen." 

Oz shook his head. "She has to listen." Xander took a step back at Oz's voice. 

"She doesn't want to. Oz. Leave her alone, you'll only hurt her more." He opened the door and stepped back inside, beginning to shut it. 

Oz slapped his hand on the door keeping it open. "Xander she needs to listen to me." 

Xander shook his head. "It's too late Oz." 

"Its over." The door was slammed shut. 

Oz stood there. In shock. All he wanted was to talk to her, and she'd refused him. It was too late, there was too much time in between. She didn't want to listen, Tara's last legacy to her. She would never be close to him again. 

The broken words separated them to such a extent that they were in separate galaxies, Oz knew they would never be fixed. He got into his van, and left Sunnydale. For the fourth, and final time. 

~*~End~*~   
Broken Words by Finger11   
Your sweet little hands   
Brush right past me   
Sometimes you don't understand   
Why you can't reach   
I bite when I don't want to bend   
How silent I can be   
So she is silent too   
She's the one who saw my words   
Broken, Torn at the seams   
And broken words were all she heard   
Now she's walking away from me   
Some never meant   
And some meant well   
The difference between us is so   
Hard to tell   
I was so shaken but now   
All I see   
Is everything she meant to me 


End file.
